The verry merry Justice league of Avengers Christmas
by Zam the hedgehog
Summary: The great Christmas special! Contains events before and during Christmas, Music videos(sort of) and warped songs as well as originals sung by different characters. Please review.(WARNING: set in the far future of the team. Please refrain from being confused.)
1. IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME!

**Sup, guys! It's me, Zam the Hedgehog! Seeing as how we're near Christmas, I wanted to start a little Christmas special thing, with Parodies/ actual Christmas songs, music videos, events during the Christmas of the JLA and all that stuff. The first chapter starts today, and hope to have the last chapter appear on Christmas. If you have any song requests I can put in here, do suggest them in the review area. I hope you guys like it. Bye!** -

Music video #1 : The most wonderful time of the year! Sung by Deadpool, freakazoid, and the creeper

[First, we see the JLA family room couch, which is pretty big, next to the warm fireplace. Leo, Green arrow and Aang the Avatar are sitting on the couch, reading books. They seem to be interested in finishing the books as they are good. Suddenly the music at the beginning of 'it's the most wonderful time of the year plays, making them jump.]

Green arrow: WOAH! That is loud!

Leo: Where's that even coming from?!

[The creeper jumps out from behind the couch, lands behind the poor lion, and pulls his mouth upwards into a smile. He begins to sing:]

Creeper: It's the most wonderful time of the yeeeaarrr!

[He throws Leo to the side as Deadpool breaks in.]

Deadpool:With the Kids raising hell and that I'm going to tell you've been bad this yeeeaaar!

[Freakazoid pops out of the ground]

Freakazoid: It's the most Wonderful time of the yeeeaaarrr!

[Revolves to next scene. The flash is running down the hall when he suddenly slips on a banana peel. He looks at the insane trio with the worst I-have-no-idea-what's-happening-look of all time.]

Freakazoid: It's the safe-saaafest season of all!

Deadpool: with the men drinking beers and the kid's shedding tears,

Creeper: and the mom's at the maaaaaallll!

All 3:it's the safe-safest season of aaalllll!

[relvolves to next scene. Freakazoid holds a mug in his hand.] Hot chocolate for drinking!

Deadpool: [sitting in a corner] and great spots for thinking,

Creeper: [piggy back rides on Freakazoid] about your New years resolutioonn!

Freakazoid: [ sits in a chair as Deadpool and Creeper sit around him like children] I'll tell really good stories about the good candies from Christmases long,long agoooo!

All 3: Its the most wonderful time of the yeear!

Deadpool: I,ll be baking the cookies! [oven explodes, sending Deadpool flying]

Creeper: [jumps onto a couch with an annoyed looking hulk and superman] while you laugh with families!

Freakazoid[ gives a thumbs up. Deadpool and creeper do the same] and be a good cheer! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

[The 3 are now wearing santa hats. Deadpool begins a very catchy tap dance that blends in with the music, and soon after, Freakazoid and The creeper do so. Random people watch in awe, like Mickey mouse and bugs bunny. Soon they begin to applaude for the group, much to their surprise.]

Freakazoid: There'll be stockings for stuffing,

Creeper: [ holds a pipe Sherlock holmes style] and good pipes for puffing,

Deadpool: and laughing outloud:

All 3: HO!HO!HOOO!

Freakazoid: We'll build lots of snowmen and dance in a cabin, while we open all our presents!

[music rises and fireworks go off around them. More applause is heard.]

All 3: It's the most wonderful tiiime of the yeeearr!

Deadpool: There'll be much snowball fighting,

Freakazoid: and then candle lighting,

Creeper:as darkness draws neeearrr!

Deadpool: It's the most wonderful TIIIIME!

Creeper: It's the most WONDER-ful TIIIME!

Freakazoid: It's the most wonderful TIIIIIIIIIMME...

[everything is silent for a few miliseconds. All 3 of them inhale and music blasts loudly in their final note]

All 3: *inhale* OF THE YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[cuts to black.]

**Hope you guys liked it!**


	2. 12 Days of Presents

**Next up, we'll have various characters tell us the number of items they got before, er, after Christmas... I think. $&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$!$&$&$**

**[Scene fades away from black to view Leo lying on the couch, looking at gift with happy interest. The singing is only heard in his mind:]**

Leo: on the first day of Christmas, flower gave to me: a bacon cheeseburger for me!

(Note: Thor calls captain America 'the captain')

Thor:_ On thine second day of Christmas, the captain gave to thee: 2 yellow boots_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for me!

Wonder woman:(Excitedly tears off the wrapping paper) on the third day of Christmas, the Batman gave to me:...$300...

Thor:_ 2 yellow boots!_

Leo:and a bacon cheeseburger for me!

Captain America: on the 4th day of Christmas, Stargirl gave to me..(smiles) 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(slightly angry) $300.

Thor:_ 2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for me!

Iron man: On the 5th day of Christmas, Pepper gave to me...(smirks) 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!  


Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(still mad) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!

Sonic: on the 6th day of Christmas, Deadpool,oh no, gave to me...(opens up a card with a picture in it. Sonic looks at it weird.) ..6 elves eating-

Iron man: 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!

Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(still mad) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!

Batgirl: on the 7th day of Christmas, Spider-Man gave to me:... (smiles as she looks at pictures of her and Peter) 7 friendship photos!

Sonic: 6 elves eating-

Iron man: 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!

Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(still mad) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!

Spider-man: On the eighth day of Christmas, The Batgirl gave to me:... 8 New video cameras!

Batgirl: 7 friendship photos!

Sonic: 6 elves eating-

Iron man: 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!

Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(still mad) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!

Hulk: on the 9th day of Christmas, Superman gave me... (Narrows his eyes at Superman, who just smirks.) 9 Dictionaries.

Spider-Man:8 New video cameras!

Batgirl: 7 friendship photos!

Sonic: 6 elves eating-

Iron man: 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!

Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(still mad) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!

Superman: On the 10th day of Christmas, the Huulk gave to me:...(looks nervously at a card.) ..10 super wedgies?(looks at hulk, who grins evily.)

Hulk: 9 Dictionaries.

Spider-Man:8 New video cameras!

Batgirl: 7 friendship photos!

Sonic: 6 elves eating-

Iron man: 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!

Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(still mad) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!

Martian manhunter: On the 11th day of Christmas, Diana gave to me...(Opens up his present and gasps. Wonder woman now notices J'onn has her present and smiles at him. He smiles back.) 11 Oreo cookies!

Superman:10 super wedgies...

Hulk: 9 Dictionaries.

Spider-Man:8 New video cameras!

Batgirl: 7 friendship photos!

Sonic: 6 elves eating-

Iron man: 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!

Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:(STILL mad) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!

Deadpool: On the 12th day of Christmas...wow! Someone actually got me something? It's from... 'pennywise the dancing clown.' Who could that be?

[Deadpool opens up the box. A multitude of Pies splatter over his mask in a huge mess. Throughout the building, a laugh from an unseen person is heard. "WA-HA!WA-HA!WA-HAA!"

Deadpool:...12 custard pies.

Martian manhunter:11 Oreo cookies!

Superman:10 super wedgies...

Hulk: 9 Dictionaries.

Spider-Man:8 New video cameras!

Batgirl: 7 friendship photos!

Sonic: 6 elves eating-

Iron man: 5 SOLAR BATTERIEEES!

Captain America: 4 shield polishers!

Wonder woman:( she got over it) $300.

Thor:_2 yellow boots!_

Leo: and a bacon cheeseburger for meee!...Hulk, put Clark down. No, don't give him the wedgie!


	3. School's out, Suckers!

**Now, begins the main action!(don't worry, I'm still taking song requests.) The first 2 chapters will be a prologue. Then, more action and comedy, as part of the JLA must help another group of 'heroes' to save Christmas. You'll see. It's gonna be big.**

Barbara Gordon excitedly rushed out the huge doors of the New Gotham high school. (Gotham high school merged with The new york one. It's a play on words, sort rare moments like these, the 17 year old acted as if she was 7. But who could blame her? It was nearly Christmas, 2 weeks from now, to be precise. And she was happy about it; this much time would allow her to buy presents for most of the people she knew. She beamed like the sun as she gazed at the newfallen snow that blanketed the school grounds around her. It was a realistic painting to her eyes. She didn't even seem to mind the brisk, slightly foggy air at around 10°. Either that, or the slim fitting Jacket she was wearing was doing a good job.

"My, aren't you just a ray of sunshine when school's out."

Barbra knew that voice anywhere. She rotated full circle and jumped at seeing Peter right next to her. She mock-glared at her best friend as he snickered at her.

"Geez Peter, the way you sneak up on people, I'd think you were a stalker." She smirked.

"Heh. You'd be the last person I'd stalk, babs. Heck, I'd be on the floor in a millisecond. With claw marks all over me."

Peter chuckled again as Barbara playfully punched his arm.

"Clawings for sissies, Pete. I prefer punching."

"Don't let Leo hear you say that."

A breeze swiftly sped in. Now, the alter ego of Batgirl shivered. Peter noticed the shiver and lightly draped an arm over her shoulder.

"Why don't we get you home, before Jack frost starts nipping at your nose." They began to walk down the sidewalk.

"Was that supposed to be a pun on frostbite?"

"We have a winner! Give the lady a rubber chicken."

He smiled at her delicate giggle. He always did love her laugh. It seemed she was always full of energy and happiness, sometimes it even radiated like sunlight. So you can guess why he adored her laugh. He began digging in his pocket with his other hand.

"And speaking of giving..."

Barbara curiously peered over at his Jacket's pocket. He suddenly tugged out a scarlet Santa hat and scarf. He placed them both on her head and neck, then took a step back.

"It's snug," she smiled. "And very warm. How do I look?" She struck a pose: interlocking her fingers behind her back, straightening out her arms, shrugging her shoulders up like an innocent child, and grinning.

"You look Beautiful- I MEAN,uh, great. You look great." Before Babs could respond, they both heard someone calling their names. They soon realized that they had stopped in front of Gotham middle school and running up to them was Tim drake. He panted as he slowed down to a stop in front of them.

"...hi guys! How*pant* are you doing?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "You know robi-I mean Tim, if you wanted to say hi, you could have made a friendship request on Facebook."

"Yeah,yeah, whatever...so, you guys headed to Bruce's?"

Barbara looked thoughtful about it. "...maybe later. I gotta go home. Big plans to make and stuff."

Peter shrugged. "Okay. I need to call aunt may and tell her where I'm going first."

By now, they had reached Barbara's house. She grinned at her friends one last time and walked towards the door.

"Bye, guys! Thanks for the escort!"

Peter watched her go up the steps. His eyes stayed at her shoulders for a moment or two, then they slipped down to her low back. Then to her nice, perfectly round rear-

'WOAH!WOAH! BAD PETER!BAD PETER! THAT'S A NO-NO!' He yelled at himself internally. The teenager reluctantly tore his gaze from her. Unfortunately, his eyes found something else:

Tim staring at him with the smugest little grin you ever read.

"What are you lookin at, pint-size?"


	4. Making deals

"AHH DAMNIT!HOW DO YOU-YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING WITH ME,MAN." The sound of Deadpool's temper tantrum rang throughout the entire mansion. The mercenary had been foolish enough to actually challenge Alfred to a poker tournament. He had lost more than half of the money Bruce Wayne was paying him. Alfred simply grinned at Deadpool's chagrin.

(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(((((&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&(&((&(&(&(&(&(&(&

In the infamous and secret Bat-cave, Two great minds worked on a massive Bat-plane. One mind, as carefree as he may be, was Tony stark (real name **Anthony Edward Stark**) is a genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist. He not only invented the Iron man armor but wears the armored suit himself. He is the leader and one of the founding members of Justice league of Avengers. He is CEO of Stark Industries, which once sold highly sophisticated weapons systems technologies to the government defense organizations such S.H.I.E.L.D. and S.W.O.R.D. who used them to maintain peace and order, but has pulled out his company away from weapons business and rededicated it to create a better future of Earth.

The second is Bruce Wayne, superhero protector of Gotham City, a man dressed like a bat who fights against evil and strikes terror into the hearts of criminals everywhere. In his secret identity he is Bruce Wayne, billionaire industrialist and notorious playboy. Although he has no superhuman powers, he is one of the world's smartest men and greatest fighters. His physical prowess and technical ingenuity make him an incredibly dangerous opponent. He is also a founding member of the Justice League of Avengers.

Bruce Wayne glanced at his former business rival who turned business partner. "You sure are working hard."

"Eh, you know me,Bruce," Tony replied, welding in a bolt. " When I want to do something, I work my ass off till I finish it. You're not doing bad yourself."

"I suppose."

"...hey, where's flower? I thought she was helping us build this thing."

"Last I saw her, she was fixing the wings."

The two men got up walked around to the left wing and smirked. Curled up on the top of the wing, muzzle slightly buried in her paws, was Flower. They could both detect a soft snoring sound emanating from her spot on the wing.

"Look at that. Knocked out."

Bruce walked over to a table and sat down in a nearby chair. "Who could blame her? She's been working with me all night. She's pretty good at late night patrols."

Tony joined him in another chair. "Well, she's a lion. Lions are nocturnal most of the time. Are we taking a break or what?"

"Sure. I could have Alfred bring us some sandwiches."

"I usually eat a nice fancy steak dinner with a hint of oak,...but I can manage."

"...*yawn*…"

Flower had apparently woken up. She stood in a cat-like position, arching her back and yawning widely. After licking the back of her paws, she noticed the two rich guys. She hopped down from her high spot and walked to their location.

"Hi guys." She greeted, still drowsy.

Tony, being the wisecraker he is, stands up like William Shakespeare. "Good greetings to you, lady flower. Thou hath slept quite nicely I presume?." Looking for another subject to speak about in this way, he saw the Batman costume in it's usual stand. "Doth Alfred know you weareth his drapes? Me thinketh you painted thine fabric black."

"Shut up." Was the simultaneous reply.

Alfred abruptly stepped onto the car platform and made his way over to the group with a platter of chicken sandwiches. He handed Bruce the plate, who set it in the middle of the table.

"You always know what to bring, Alfred. Even before I ask you to bring it."

"Of course, Master Bruce. You always ask for chicken sandwiches when company is over."

"Huh."

"And, uh, speaking of company," Tony started, chewing his meal." You coming to the party this time?"

"What party? The Christmas one?"

"No, the summer one-of course the Christmas one!"

"I've told you before, I don't have time for that. I have justice to bring.

"That's the best part!" flower joined in. "if you have to, you can leave any time you want!"

"I'm not going. I don't associate myself with nonsense."

Flower visibly narrowed her eyes. "So what you're sayin' is that you don't have time for friends, right?'

Bruce seemed startled by her slight anger. Then he returned the glare. "only when needed."

A silence waned thruought the room until tony shattered it like glass. "Okay, how about this, If you come to the party just ONCE, we swear on our chicken sandwiches we will never ever ever ask you to come again."

Bruce sighed as he stared into the pleading faces of his partners. 'Boy,' he thought' they really want me to go...'

"if I may sir, I recommend going. The way their minds are wired, I wouldn't be surprised if they asked you for the next 3 years..."

Bruce rolled his blue eyes. "*sigh*... . I'll go.''

And so, Bruce watched Tony and Flower do a victory dance for the next 5 minutes.

THE EN- I mean,uh, meanwhile...

FRAP.

FRAP.

FRAP.

Dr. Jonathan crane's eyes were bulged from days of no sleep. Obviously from that wretched ceiling fan above. He'd get up and walk away, if he weren't in an asylum.

Yep. Crane here was a patient of good ol' Arkham asylum: a building made especially for the criminally insane. There were all sorts of characters in the numerous cells surrounding him. Like massively homicidal clowns, masked body builders that used weird chemicals to get stronger, ordinary females that turned half plant, Hybrid crocodile humans, and people like him:

You see, _Jonathan_ crane, a professor of psychology, who turned to crime after he is fired, was an expert in the psychology of fear. This began when he had fired a gun in a classroom full of students to illustrate the by his fellow professors for his appearance and reclusiveness, he turned to crime to make himself part of the social elite. His modus operandi is to use his Scarecrow persona and threaten his victims into doing whatever he wants. In terms of his costume, he merely wore a ragged dark trench coat, a disturbingly torn mask with a noose, a black sombrero-like hat and spiked boots. He also carries a long staff and within it is his fear toxin, which he is able to spray at will. Fear toxin is a gas that can cause one to believe that their greatest fears have come to life.

So, yeah. He began to test his fear gas on random people and each time, he was stopped by him.

The Batman.

For one thing, crane was happy his gas actually worked on him once. It worked on most of the people in this asylum. There was only one person that it didn't seem to work on. A certain clown by the name of-

ZZRAMP!

Jonathan glanced at the glass window of his cell,got out of his bed, and slowly leaned over to see what was happening. It seemed one of the hall lights went out, no big problem. He was about to turn around when he heard the sound again.

ZZRAMP!

Now the hall light on the other end went out.

ZZRAMP!

ZZRAMP!

ZZRAMP!

Now the lights went out a pattern: one end to the other end. Soon, all that was left was one light. Crane squinted his eyes as he saw a shadow form on the wall. Moments later, a figure walked out of the wall like that of a ghost. The strange thing was, he strolled up to his cell calmly, like a gentleman. Crane was very suspicious.

The man was tall, lithe, and dark in appearance. He had silver - golden yellow eyes resembling an eclipse, dull pale-gray skin, and glossy black hair that is styled to come out as slick spikes from the back of his head. He wore a long, black robe with a v neck line and shadows running down his arms, obscuring his body like a shadow. The man had a strange aurora surrounding him, Darkness radiating. His smirk never left his face as he walked to the glass.

"...Crane, Jonathan I presume?" His voice reeked of confidence.

"To whom am I speaking to?"

"...for right now, you can refer to me as a friend. You see, I'm not exactly human. I didn't need to idly waste time by coming down here, but I wanted to see you."

"I'm listening."

"Good. Now, I'm a simple guy. I used to-let's say-Live in an age of darkness and despair."

"..."

"I had powers. Magnificent powers that allowed to keep those ages going." He smiled as if he were remembering a good thing. "Cold, dark ages. A time where the only thing people knew about was good ol' fear!"

Crane grinned at the mention of fear.

"Ah, those were the good days... but, Unfortunately, those days were ruined by some very _Disliked _people. Party poppers."

"...and, uh, who were these people?"

"Ah. Identities I shall reveal to you later. It's time I got what I came here for."

"And that is?" Crane curiously asked.

"Why setting you free of course. Of course I won't do it officially, but another friend of mine will." He stepped to the side as someone else walked through the wall.

This person was wearing a slim green body suit with golden metal that seemed to come from the 1300's patched around in different areas. The most notable features were his green eyes, black hair, and helmet with abnormally long horns.

"Loki!" Crane exclaimed. The God of mischief simply chuckled at his expression. Muttering some incoherent words, a door appeared on the glass. Crane opened it cautiously, then quickly stepped outside. He nods at Loki just before the man in black speaks again.

"So, , are you going to help us spread fear throughout the souls of the unwitting?"

The Dr. nods again."Please, call me scarecrow."

"Scarecrow...interesting."

"Uh, professor crane?"

The 3 notorious terrorists followed the voice back to a cell next door to crane's. Crane smirked at his acquaintance, Harleen quinnzell, who was sleepily rubbing her eyes. She seemed to have just woken up and noticed the odd group.

"Who da' heck are they?"

"Friends, child. They're here to get me out."

Harley began jumping up and down like an excited school girl. "OOOH! CAN I COME?!CAN I COME?! CAN I COME?! CAN I COME?!

The darkly dressed Man's smirk grew wider. "Well, we were going to pick up a few others. So, I suppose."

The 4 villains began a silent break out, getting powerful villains out of jail. They soon gathered Dr. Eggman, the symbiote and Eddie Brock, baron zemo, Bane, malificent, Dr. Drakken, whiplash, Deathstroke, Abomination, Electro, Metallo, Sabertooth, Omega red, Solomon Grundy, Gorilla grodd, Bizarro, and sinestro. The darkly dressed man took them to the weaponry stockage, where they got most of their signature weapons. The man then called aside Loki, Harley, and crane, all in full costume.

"I have a question for you, regarding the whereabouts of a certain person."

"Who exactly, is that?" Loki asked suspiciously.

"Well, I called you 3 aside because, in the past, you've worked with him. He could be a very.. Crafty ally for us."

Loki, who never usually looked frightened, looked frightened."That decision is life threateningly unwise."

"Oh come now, Loki! You are a god!"

"He is still dangerous."

"Wait..are we..." Harley looked a little too happy. "YAAY! WE'RE GETTIN' MISTAH J!"

This outburst caused every last one of the villains recruited to panick at least by a little. The darkly dressed man facepalmed.

(:-3 8-{ {8 ;-D)

The 4 villains had now traveled to an underground section of Arkham Asylum. It was dark and quite frankly, damp. They walked through the eerie walls until they reached a wooden door. A small plaque on the door read:

'Patient 4479'

After opening it, they were greeted with the sight of large metal structures, all pointing to the very center of the room. In the center, the structures were holding together a large metal casing that revealed the head of the inmate.

This man's skin was as white as snow and his Eyebrows/Hair was a sickly green, put in a certain design with pointed ends. The man had deep scars running from the corners of his mouth, making a Glasgow smile. A scarlet color enveloped his lips and scars. The man slowly lifted his head, and his eyes resembled a crocodile's.

His voice, despite his dark appearance, was like that Hamill's and ledger's mixed together.

"harley...I see you've come to visit me..."

"I'm doin more den dat mistah J! We're gettin ya outta here!"

Patient 4479 stared at the darkly dressed man. "Bout time you got here. Y'know this place doesn't give you video games, right?"

Harley, Loki, and Scarecrow exchanged confused looks. The darkly dressed man noticed this and turned to them, while lifting a hand to the casing holding 'mistah J'. The casing split in half after 'shadows' seemingly struck it.

"I suppose I should tell you my name. I assume you've heard of the 'bogeyman'?"

Scarecrow DEFINITELY heard of him. "Of course... you're not implying that you are a fictional thing, are you?"

The man nodded. "I am. But I prefer to be called..Pitch. Short for pitch black.

Patient 4479 stepped out of the casing. He wasn't a buff guy but, he wasn't lanky either. He stretched a little and stared at Pitch.

"So, if I join your little party, like you told me before, what's the gift you'll give me?" The clown prince of crime questioned.

Pitch turned to him, hands behind his back. He pulls them out, revealing a fancy purple jacket and pants clutched in his hands. He grins evilly as he hands them to the Patient.

"If you join me, the first chance you get, you can Torture or Kill The Batman. Whichever you like."

The Joker stared blankly at pitch. The corners of his mouth twitched. Then, they rose up, pushing the scars back as well. He was smiling impossibly wide.

"...he he he he he he he he...he he he he he ha ha ha ha ha... ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA HA HA..BAAAAAH!HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA HA HOO HOO HOOHAHA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!"


	5. Sleigh ride

**Here's a 'music video' to break from the tension previously read:**

**Sleigh ride Reliant K**

**(**We see Bruce Wayne gloomily sifting through channels on T.V.)

Just hear those sleigh bells jinglin'.. ring ting tingling..too...

(Bruce glances outside and sighs.)

Come on it's.. lovely weather for a sleigh ride together..with you.. outside the snow is fallin and friends are calling yoo-hoo...

(Alfred walks in and gives Bruce a cheerful smile and a mug of hot chocolate. Bruce smiles..more or less, and continues to watch the newfallen snow pile up.)

Come on it's..lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with...you...

(The pace of the music picks up as Bruce's phone rings. He is surprised to hear the shy voice of Diana. She asks if he is doing anything sheepishly and if he would like to do something. Bruce smiles a little. He heads for his closet.)

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, Ring ting tingling too Come one it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you..

(Bruce puts on a nice blue jacket with black sweat pants and scarf. He meets Diana at the Gotham park, noticing her slim fitting jacket and pants as he approached. Diana seemed excited to see him, and dragged him over to a skating rink.)

Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo,..come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you..

(Bruce's protests melted away as Diana took his hand. But, then he nearly got a heart attack from the heroine bolting across the rink.)

Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, let's go-let's look at the show..we're riding in a wonderland of snow!

Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up it's grand; just holding your hand..We're gliding along with a song of a wintry fairy land!

(Bruce smirks and starts skating faster than her. Diana mock glares, and soon the two are in a race. Bruce notices her scarf fell off and grabs it. He then hands it to a scarlet cheeked wonder woman.)

Our cheeks are nice and rosy And comfy cozy are we! We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather would be

(The scene time jumps to Bruce, having rented a horse drawn sleigh and is traveling with Diana. The Amazon princess pretends to look at the grey clouds above her and,cutely smiling, scoots closer to Bruce until their jackets are touching. Bruce raises an eyebrow and smirks.)

Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two.. come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you!

(As the music plays, The Mandrillmarvel character is holding sacks of cash in one hand, trying to escape the police. After worriedly glancing around, he spots the sleigh with Bruce and Diana in it and grins sadistically. He sprays out his pheromones and the gases drift to wonder woman's nose. Before she can stop herself, she pushes Bruce out of the sleigh and gasps in horror at seeing Mandrill hop in. Bruce catches a glimpse of the villain and immediately calls Alfred for his costume.)

Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up let's go! Let's look at the show! [Let's look at the shooooOOW!]

(Diana tries with all her might to move but can't. Mandrill laughs at her attempts to break free. This prevents him from seeing the Black fist 3 inches from his face and closing.)

We're riding in a wonderland of snow! Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up it's grand, just holding your hand, we're gliding along to the song in a wintry fairy land!

(After making sure mandrill was knocked out, Batman takes Diana to Wayne manor{Don't worry, he returns the sleigh} In a time jump, Diana is flipping through channels as Bruce is making popcorn and hot chocolate.)

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling-ring ting tingling too! come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you!

(When Bruce gets back, he sees that Diana is watching a kissing scene from a movie and smiling to herself. Pretending to yawn and stretch, he places an arm on her shoulder.)

Oh yeah, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you!


	6. Meet the guardians

**Good evening ladies and gentleMAN. I am...(picks ups shrimp and eats it) I am..this chapter's entertainment!...I only have one question: where are the reviews?.. hmm?**

**Any who, our heroes team up with different heroes in this chapter:**

Batgirl released a stream of swear words from her mouth as she stuffed stolen money into a dirty bag. She ran out quickly and put the bag in a van, stiffly.

Why is she doing this, you ask? What made the lovable, crime-fighting teen we know and love turn to a dirty life of revolting crime? 9 words, my friends: Pheromones,Plus,Evil,guy,equals,total,control,over,women. And guess who that is!

"Hurry up, girly! Cops'll be here soon." The Mandrill warily muttered.

Yep! The Marvel character:

Jerome Beechman was the son of Frederic Beechman, a physicist at Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico, and Margaret Beechman. Before conceiving his son, an explosion breached the facility's nuclear reactor, bombarding Frederic and a cleaning woman with radiation. When Jerome was born a year later, he possessed black skin (despite both of his parents being Caucasian) and tufts of body hair. Jerome was despised by his family because of his freakish appearance, and when he was ten his father drove him out into the New Mexico desert and abandoned him.

While wandering the desert, Jerome encountered Nekra Sinclair, the daughter of the cleaning woman who had been bombarded by radiation in the same accident that had affected Beecham's father. Although her parents were black, she had been bornalbino white and had developed vampiric features. For six years they lived by theft and scavenging until they were attacked by a lynch mob that thought they were monsters. The hatred triggered by the attack manifested Beecham's ability to control women with his pheromones, as well as Sinclair's powers, which the two used to kill some of their attackers and escape the rest.

Now possessing a more monkey-like appearance, Beecham became a professional criminal and took the name Mandrill.

His baboon like Face floated in front of hers, giving her a whiff of terrible breath. She glared daggers at him and strained to speak.

"It's not...the police you're gonna... worry about...when I get outta...here..." Batgirl strained to say. She growled as mandrill stroked her chin with a furry finger.

"Is that so? Well, I guess it's a good thing I dispose of my..." his drifted from her chest to her face."..toys."

Oh, did I mention that the guy's a perv? Yeah, what do you expect from a guy who can control women?

SWIPACK!

A thin, yet strong webline yanks Mandrill backwards from Batgirl's face. A small web encases Batgirl's nose as well, blocking out the hypnotic pheromones. The Amazing Spider-Man leaps from perch on a lamplight and clenches his fists.

"Now,now, Mandrill; that's not how you treat a lady! If you really wanna get a girl's attention, try being polite."

It works! ;-D.

"Yeah, or do the traditional thing: flowers!" Batgirl sounded like the DKR bane thanks to the web. "Breathing in their faces is a good way to earn a slap."

In a Flash, the fastest man alive was right next to Spider-Man. Flash grinned at Batgirl.

"Is that why your nose is clogged up?"

"Shut up."

The Mandrill, seeing he was obviously outnumbered, turned to run to a nearby alley. Batgirl and Spider-Man gave chase while Flash fidgeted with a piece of gum on his yellow boot.

SPIDER-SENSE.

Batgirl was yanked to the brick wall just before she could round the corner by Spider-Man. She glared and hissed:

"What are you doing?!"

"Spider sense. Going off really loudly. Headache loud."

Batgirl listened intently to Mandrill's conversation with someone. It seemed he had bumped into whoever he was talking to.

"Hey! Who the hell are you? Hey, what are you doing?!"

Batgirl rushed out from her hiding spot.. and saw nothing. Nothing, that is, except a dead end wall. Nothing else. She thought she saw what looked like a fast dying flame. Funny thing, though, it was black and not Orange...

Later, on the Watch mansion...

"And he was gone. Just like that!" Batgirl said to Captain America and Optimus prime(They designed all the rooms to have abnormally high ceilings for the convenience of the Autobots.) The wise heroes glanced at each other in confusion.

"He just...disappeared?" The latest prime asked.

"That's new. Sort of." We'll have to look into it."

Spider-Man nodded. "This sounds like it has something to do with the disappearance of villains from Arkham asylum."

"Indeed, Spider-Man. Either we have a new hero to thank, or..." Optimus' expression was grim. "We have someone bringing together an army of of our rivals."

Flash groaned. "Man, and we're so close to Christmas!"

Everyone rolled their eyes and stared at the door as it opened and in walked Bruce banner and Riku.

( **Riku** is the deuteragonist of the _Kingdom Hearts_ series. He is a Keyblade wielder that has the power of Darkness, and is always ready to sacrifice himself to protect his friends. Even so, he is sometimes arrogant. His name is deriveded from the Japanese word for "land".)

Riku sighed. "Are you guys ready to help us tell him?"

They all nodded and followed him to the family room. They were greeted with an odd was sitting on the couch, sound recording what Deadpool and Freakazoid were doing:

Deadpool was holding a Saxophone with both hands and blowing into it. Surprisingly, this created an upbeat jazz rhythm. He was also rocking his hips forward along with the sax which looked funny and cool at the same time.

In short, he was sax rolling.

Freakazoid was clapping his hands and stamping his feet like Country person stereotype along with the sound of the sax.

"...what the-" Spidey started.

"Shh! This is his 97th repetion! You'll break his concentration!" Freakazoid hushed.

Deadpool did the funny movement 4 more times, then stopped. He threw it on the ground, causing it to shatter to pieces and pumped his fist in the air.

"Yes! I finally did it! 100 sax rolls!"

Spider-Man blinked at the man of steel. "You actually sound recorded that?"

"Yep. I'm going to annoy Kara with this for months."

In the next few minutes, other heroes came. The Black widow, Half of the X-men, Sora, kairi, Leo, Flower, Sonic, Amy, Thor, Green lantern, Wonder woman, Huntress, question, J'onn, the vision, yellow jacket, wasp, and Tails. Fire came in and stood next to Flash, making him turn as red as his suit.

Wonder Woman stood at the front of the room and cleared her throat. "Okay! You are all gathered here to learn some news. Firstly, We are having another Christmas party!"

A short sound of joy thru out most of the people in the room.

Diana smiled as well. "We are, however, doing this a little differently. This party will last for two days and therefore, will have a great schedule. While we are paying for food, blankets and music, we ask that you bring Christmas related films that we can watch during 'movie time'. We will be passing out the schedules later. Secondly, guess who we got to stay for the party!"

The door opened and Everyone gasped at seeing Batman of all people entering the room, Iron man close behind.

"You didn't have to escort me here. I wouldn't have escaped." The dark knight grumbled.

"Can't be too safe."

"Thanks to little deal we made," Flower declared loudly. "He'll be staying with us for the whole party!"

"And the third one...um, who was going to tell Superman?"

"Tell me what?" Clark stared at the uneasy faces of everyone in the room. Freakazoid chuckled nervously.

"Well, uh, you see, uh, remember all those wonderful Christmases you had on the farm?"

"Yeah..."

"The ones where your parents wrapped your presents..." Green lantern chimed in.

"Oh, no. You mean Santa wrapped them!" Superman smiled. Everyone simply grew more nervous.

"I,uh, don't know how to break this to you Clark, but..."

Batman rolled his eyes. "Santa Claus isn't real."

Superman looked as if Lois slapped him and said she hated him with all her might. "...what are you talking about? Of course it was him..."

"No, Clark. Your 'parents' went out while you were asleep, got you what you wanted, put it in a led box, wrapped it, and put it under the tree. There is no Santa Claus."

"B-but... I..it all makes sense..." Clark realized sadly.

FLARWARSHACRMA!

On instinct, Everyone in the room jumped into battle stances. The odd blue ball of light in a corner of the room grew larger. Soon, it was 9 ft tall. Two creatures that sort of resembled humanoid shaggy dogs stepped out and stood to the side. Then, 4 'people' followed.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Deadpool raised an eyebrow.

The first was an immense man; tall, buff, and a little rotund. He has bright blue eyes, thick black eyebrows, and a long white beard and mustache. He was customarily wearing a black fur hat, a long red coat with black fur trim, and a red plaid shirt. He has he words "naughty" and "nice" are tattooed on each forearm respectively and also carries two swords strapped to his waist.

The second was a short and squat individual, garbed in an outfit made of what looked like sand appearing as a night robe. His hair, vaguely clownish, is golden and short, styled into five points, and glitters like sand. He also has tiny feet and golden brown eyes.

The third is apparently a part human part hummingbird hybrid. She has tan skin and violet eyes. Instead of hair, she has feathers that make a curved upward style. Instead of clothes, her entire body seems to be covered in mini feathers. Around her wrists and ankles there seem to be golden lines that appear to look like golden bracelets and golden anklets, as well as gold feathers on either side of her head for earrings. The newcomer also has long, drapery feathers that start at her waist line and end at her knees. They give the appearance of a skirt or dress.

The 4th isn't even a person. Unknown to them them at the moment, He is a Pooka; a rabbit species that stands between six to seven feet tall, with grayish-blue fur, flower-like imprints on both his forehead and shoulders, and bright green eyes. He wears leather bracers set with orange stones, a single-strap holster with which he carries his boomerangs, and leather wrappings on his feet.

The Batman glares at the Man in red. "Who are you?!"

The man regards him with blue eyes and says in an accent more Russian than Black widow's: I have many names, my friend. Sinter klass, St. Nicholas, Kris kringle, father Christmas, the list goes on.. my real name is north. But I'm sure you know me better as-"

"SANTA CLAUS!" Clark shouted gleefully. "I KNEW HE WAS REAL!"

The more everyone thought, they realized that he did look a little bit like Santa Claus.

North chuckled. "Yes, Santa. Nice to meet you awake Clark!"

"You know me?"

"Jah! You are 2nd from nicest boy on naughty list."

"Who's first?"

"Leo."

"Figures."

The bird/human thingy flew up to Superman in the blink of an eye and pried his mouth open. She gleefully gazed at the Kryptonian's teeth.

"Wow! These teeth are the best I've seen! They're entirely free of cavities!"

"Ah tawk ee yah da toof fairee?" Clark asked.

"Yep."

Deadpool shook his head. "Oh my God, I've been eating those shrimp again. I keep telling my self not to eat them, but they're so damn tasty."

"Oh, you're not asleep,mate." The Bunny thing said in an Australian accent. "Tooth, quit embarrassing the man."

Tooth turned bright red and shrunk back. Flash ran up with a severely confused expression in his eyes. "So, you're Santa, you're The tooth fairy, and you're the Easter bunny?"

Batman still glared, mainly at North. "Impossible. Kids get money and presents from their presents."

North smirked. "Let's let them believe that. They think they're doing that, but thanks to Sandy here," he gestured to the short golden man, who bowed. "I am able to deliver presents."

"Sandy?" Spidey wondered aloud. "You mean Sandy claws?"

'Sandy' stared at him with a sarcastic face giggling. The words 'HA HA HA.' appeared above his head, created from what looked like golden sand. Everyone soon realized that he couldn't talk.

"What exactly do we owe the honor of your visit?" Optimus inquired.

North stroked his beard. "Well,...let me start from the beginning..."

Yay! Flash back time!:

North walked into one of the many rooms of his workshop. He carried a Baseball sized chunk of ice as he walked past his tiny elves that wrestled playfully with each other.

"Sill waiting for cookies!" He called,making them gasp and scurry off to find cookies. He placed the chunk on a table and, using a tiny chisel, chipped away at different areas. The elves leaped on his table with the cookies and he popped one in his mouth. He continued making Mark until finally:

"Aha!"

He watched as his ice made Toy train with airplane wings moved across the table and took off with proudness. It was his talent, after all, to be able to make toys out of everything. He once made a Baseball out of a piece of cotton!

Unfortunately, the toy was smacked by the door being opened by one of the shaggy dog like people and it crinkled to pieces as it impacted the floor. North stared at the broken toy in shock.

"Ahh!"

"D'OHH!" The creature helped.

"AHH!"

"Oooh!" The creature covered it's mouth with both hands.

"How many times do I have to tell you to KNOCK?" North inquired, rubbing his head.

"YABBAGARNSHSNOOBA!" The creature exclaimed, pointing outside. North raised an eyebrow.

"The globe?"

In a few minutes, North was on his way to the globe, his means of counting how many people believed in him. He stepped carefully and gently, so he wouldn't step on the elves.

"Move your pointy heads, will you? I-"

North gasped.

On the globe, there would be a number of bright gold lights that represented a child who believed. In short, light= Some random kid or child who believes in him or other 'gaurdians'. Normally, that was most of the world.

But the lights... they were disappearing. Rapidly.

"What?..." He half asked himself, half asked the shaggy creatures behind him. "What is going on?"

A sudden Dark grain, black sand if you will, seeped down from the top of the globe and encased the entire thing. The substance bolted from the globe and regathered itself on one of the walls nearby. To North's shock, it transformed to look like the shadow of a long since defeated foe, that laughed maniacally. Then, as soon as it had come, it disappeared.

North stared at the globe. "...could it be?..." He swiftly turned to some of his elves. " make preparations."

A determined look got in his eye. "We're going to have company." After pressing an emergency button, The northern lights flooded from the roof of the workshop and outwards, serving as a beacon.

(Note: includes the flash backs of all the guardians.)

Tooth giggled as she was brought another tooth by her minions. It was so exciting to see them every day!

"Aww, this one flossed properly!"

She suddenly caught sight of the last thing she was expecting: the lights from North's place. She flew off towards it without hesitation.

The wise sandman, the short guy, raised his arms once more and sprayed out vast quantities of dreams in the form of sand. He smiled at seeing them all asleep and dreaming happy dreams and whatnot. He glanced over his shoulder and saw the emergency lights.

He quickly created a sand plane from his mind. After putting on goggles, he sped off towards the lights.

The Easter bunny sped through his underground tunnel leading to the north pole. He poked his ears out of the hole to listen for polar bears, then hopped out of hole and gazed at his destination. He shivered.

"GEEZE!THAT IS COLD!"

To avoid frostbite, he bounded off to the workshop, shouting: "I can't feel my paws! Can't feel my paws!

North tried to quiet down the Easter bunny and tooth fairy's fussing for 5 minutes. Sandman just quietly followed.

"I know, I know. I wouldn't have called you here if it wasn't important...listen, the boogeyman was here:at the north pole!"

Tooth audibly gasped. "Pitch?! Pitch black?!"

"Yes! There was black sand, covering the globe.."

Bunnymund looked skeptical. "Wait-wha- what do you mean, 'black sand'?

North ignored him. "Then a huge shadow-"

"Wait, I thought you said you saw pitch." Bunnymund interrupted.

"Well, not exactly..." North shrugged. Bunnymund rolled his eyes and stared at Sandy.

"Not exactly? Can you believe this guy?"

A question mark appeared above Sandman's head.

"Yeah. You said it, Sandy."

"Look, he's up to something terrible. I can feel it!..in my belly!" North exclaimed.

"Okay, let me get this straight: you summoned me here, when I'm trying to fix whatever caused last year's Easter problem, because of a feeling in your belly?! If I did this to you 3 days before Christmas-"

"Whatever."

"Here we go... look, I don't have time for this. I have 2 billion eggs to paint! You can't-"

"Why are rabbits so grumpy?" North whined.

"Well, you're the one who has all YEAR to prepare! I only get a month!"

Tooth flew in between them. "And I have money to give back!"

"Can't you see we're trying to argue?" North rolled his eyes.

Tooth sarcastically smiled." Sorry, not all of us get to work one night a year, am I right, Sandy?"

Sandy was pointing furiously at an arrow pointing at the sky. Unfortunately, she looked in a different direction. Sandy silently groaned.

"Look, mate, you should make sure that-" Bunnymund started.

"I know it was pitch!"

Sandy exasperatedly walked over to an elf with a loud bell on it's hat. He nearly shook the life out of the thing just to get their attention. He pointed at his model of the moon above his hair and at the sky. North looked at the full moon.

"Ah! Man in moon! Sandy, why didn't you say so?"

Sandy came close to tugging his hair out.

"Man in moon! It's been a long time, old friend-"

Moonlight flashed down on a rug below in the middle of the group. As they watched, a shadow picture of pitch formed. Bunnymund's eyes widened.

"It is pitch." He gasped, looking at north. North smiled that I-told-you-smile and patted his stomach. His smile faltered when the moon also showed him multiple other shadows. Then, in a loud voice, he said to the moon:

"What can we do to stop him and his allies?"

The moon light was somehow forming 2 pictures. Tooth excitedly smiled and looked at her friends.

"Do you know what this means?! We're getting new gaurdians! I wonder if it's the leprechaun..."

Bunnymund covered his ears. "Please don't be leprechaun, please don't be leprechaun..."

The first picture was finished. Everyone stared at it in complete shock. Bunnymund's was annoyance, but everyone else's was shock.

"Jack..frost?" North wondered aloud.

"I take it back. Give us the leprechaun." Bunnymund begged.

"Well, he's not a bad choice." Tooth shrugged.

"Jack frost?! He doesn't care about children, or believing! He just..freezes stuff!"

"Wait, guys, there's another picture!" Tooth pointed. When the picture finally formed, everyone was confused slightly. Three bold letters presented themselves to the team of gaurdians. The name of the largest superhero team in the world.

** JLA: JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AVENGERS**


End file.
